A simple daily log of all the chance events and happenstance at our humble digs. What is Jeff thinking? What is Ginny's next undertaking? What sort of punishment will the cats endure? And ultimately, what does it all mean?

Monday, October 25

What's Approaching?

It's been awhile since my last post.

I wonder how many times that sentence has been written in the history of blogging? There's no particular reason for my absence. Just the usual loss of connection. Inability to commit to something. Possibly loss of interest is tied in as well.

So it's Autumn in Syracuse. The deciduous trees have dropped nearly all of their leaves. Although we have no such trees in our yard, this doesn't stop the neighbors trees from shedding across our fence.

Everyone is complaining. Asking themselves why it is that they live here, as they await the first 'horrendous' fall of snow. Yet, they stay? I invite the first snowflake. I can't wait to to pull on my running shoes, exiting the house into the dark evening and running in the snow encrusted streets. Trying not to slip and break my neck. Time to get the cross country skis out.

I love the frigid cold on my face. Wearing a hat. Seeing my breath. It's in my blood and I invite the winter. Welcome it with open arms, in fact. I see the opportunity to enjoy being warm. Not taking for granted the modern convenience of electric heat. Hot, fragrant coffee in the early morning. I enjoy looking from the inside out, feeling slightly sorry for the poor souls stuck outside. Half wishing I was one of them. Turning the house lights out in the dark to watch the snow fall. This is especially stimulating to me while driving, although not recommended for obvious reasons. Starting the car to let it warm up, also not recommended for environmental reasons. Shoveling the walk is wonderful. Walking through the blank canvas of the back yard after a large snow fall can be melancholic yet deeply fulfilling. Temperately mild regions are over rated.

I have class this evening. End of topic.

Not that anyone is reading...but make sure and get out to vote next week.

Jeffrey


21 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautiful feeling.
Alireza

March 12, 2005 at 6:53 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Caring for a moment like it's my own child is what i had while i read that

October 25, 2005 at 5:03 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i loved the reference to the blank canvas. so overused yet still so meaningful

January 31, 2006 at 1:32 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you sure run alot dont you!

February 24, 2006 at 1:27 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is an episode list (complete with descriptions) of the cartoon "Mighty Man and Yukk" which includes the CORRECT descriptions for the episodes "Dog Gone Days" and "Copycat".

Big Mouse the Bad Mouse (9/22/1979) - Bad Mouse and his rodent followers steal the city mint.

Magnet Man (9/22/1979) - Magnet Man threatens to use his giant magnet to pull the city into the river unless he is paid a very big ransom.

Anthead (9/29/1979) - To pull off the crime of the century, Anthead steals computers to help him plan one.

Never Retire with Mr. & Mrs. Van Pire (9/29/1979) - Mr. and Mrs. Van Pire are hypnotizing millionaires to sell them their fortunes and then turning them into bats.

Goldteeth's Bad Bite (10/6/1979) - Goldteeth and his sidekick Doctor Decay plan to steal a gold plated satellite that is orbiting outer space.

Baby Man (10/6/1979) - Baby Man and his nanny henchwomen are making City officials act like babies by spraying them with a secret formula.

Trouble Brews When Glue Man Glues (10/13/1979) - Sick of being beaten by Mighty Man and Yukk, the villain Glue Man hatches a plan to steal chemicals that will create a formula to turn himself into Super-Glue Man upon obtaining a scientist named Dr. Stickol.

Shake Up with Ms. Make-Up (10/13/1979) - Miss Make-Up, the most beautiful criminal that ever lived, plans to steal a scroll that contains Cleopatra's beauty secrets.

Bad News Snooze (10/20/1979) - Madame Sleep and her henchmen Lazy and Tired steal King Ledus' ring. She plans to use the ring which is a key to unlock the vault at the Lagovian Embassy, steal the Lagovian Lion Statue and hold it for a ransom of $10,000,000,000.

Coach Crime's Big Play (10/20/1979) - To infiltrate Coach Crime's gang of thieves and figure out who his real identity is, Mighty Man and Yukk pose as safecrackers.

Public Rooster #1 (10/27/1979) - The Rooster steals an anti-gravity machine which he uses to commit numerous dastardly crimes in order to make himself Public Enemy #1.

Rob Around the Clock (10/27/1979) - The Time Keeper and his henchmen Minute Man and Second Hand Rose are freezing time. They then commit crimes resulting in an unstoppable crime spree.

The Perils of Paulette (11/3/1979) - The maniacal Handhead tries to force a movie studio to replace their actress Paulette with his girlfriend Billy by sabotaging their latest movie.

The Dangerous Dr. Gadgets (11/3/1979) - In a plot to discredit Mighty Man and Yukk, Dr. Rufus T. Gadgets sets up his own crimes so that he can be the hero of the city.

Bye Bye Biplane (11/10/1979) - Baron Brute steals an amnesia machine and plans to use it to win a space shuttle contract by sabotaging his opponent.

Beach Bum's Crime Wave (11/10/1979) - Mighty Man and Yukk encounter Beach Bum, a villain who uses his surfing talents and advanced technology to steal anything valuable including King Neptune's golden trident.

February 9, 2010 at 6:01 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Fiendish Fishface (11/17/1979) - Fishface uses his trained dolphins to capture millionaires on their yachts and has his henchmen disguise themselves as them.

Catman (11/17/1979) - A cat burgular named Catman uses his trained jungle cats to steal the worlds largest diamond.

Kragg the Conqueror (11/24/1979) - A scientist named Dr. Lash thaws out a viking warrior named Kragg the Conqueror and his hound. He then plans to use them to abduct the mayor, the police chief, and Mighty Man.

The Menacing Mindreader (11/24/1979) - Miro The Mentalist uses a mindreading machine that enables him to steal valuable information from the brains of his victims.

Dog Gone Days (12/1/1979) - The Dog Catcher uses sonic sounds to capture dogs so he can eliminate them.

The Evil Evo-Ray (12/1/1979) - Future Man, a fully-evolved human with futuristic powers, plans to turn the whole of mankind into cavemen.

The Video Villain (12/8/1979) - Camera Man uses his 3-D camera to travel through any television in the city and commit robberies.

Krime Klown's Circus of Evil (12/8/1979) - Krime Klown uses his Krime Kazoo to turn the citizens into his circus henchmen.

Copycat (12/15/1979) - Copycat and his henchman Ivan plot to steal the fortune and money belt of oil tychoon Bucks Galore.

The Sinister Super Suit (12/15/1979) - Former TV villain Nefario creates a super suit which enables him to stay one step ahead of Mighty Man and Yukk while he is committing a series of crimes.

The Malevolent Marble Man (12/22/1979) - Marble Man uses a device to bring statues to life in a plot to drive out the citizens and claim the city for themselves.

Evil Notions with Evila's Potions (12/22/1979) - Evila the Witch enchants the city's gems into following her back to her house.

The Diabolical Dr. Locust (12/29/1979) - Dr. Locust attempts to steal three ancient Chinese junks that once combined creates a robotic warrior.

Where There's a Will, There's a Creep (12/29/1979) - Stanley Johnson is set to inherit a fortune if he spends the night in a haunted house. The only problem is the Creep and his henchman Clyde plan to kidnap Stanley so that the Creep inherits the money himself.

Doctor Icicle (1/5/1980) - Doctor Icicle and his sidekick Frosty are kidnapping renowned scientists in order to build a super freezing machine that will freeze the sun.

The Glutunous Glop (1/5/1980) - An evil professor named Sanfon Vulch creates Glop, a monster that can eat its way though anything. Glop is sent to Brandon Brewster's house to eat through his safe and steal a set of valuable blueprints.

February 9, 2010 at 6:01 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now here's a list of all 26 (not 25) episodes of "Karate Kat" including the "missing" episode "The Kitten Klub Kaper".

01. The Katzenheimer Kaper
02. The Sardine Turnover Kaper
03. The Mousemobile Kaper
04. The Crow Key Kaper
05. The Kata Hari Kaper
06. The Picat-So Kaper
07. Ticktocking Along
08. The Koffee Kup Kaper
09. Kat Tracks
10. The Bank Heist
11. The Kitten Klub Kaper
12. The Tabby Tire Tracker
13. Kats Ahoy
14. The Pink Sphinx
15. The Cousin Kaper
16. The Bathtub Bandits
17. Pretty Kitty Kaper
18. The Katsensniffer Kaper
19. The Kats 'N Bats Kaper
20. The Tabby Telemann Kaper
21. Kat Goes Ape
22. The Ghost of Legs Larue
23. Kat's Paw
24. The Twin Brother Kaper
25. The Amnesia Kaper
26. The Lonely Hearts Kaper

Also here are the voice actors:

Karate Kat, Katmandu = Robert McFadden
Big Poppa, Sumo Sai, Kat Gut = Earl Hammond
Katatonic, Boom Boom Burmese = Larry Kenney
Chow Baby, Meow Baby = Maggie Jakobson
Big Momma/Katie McClaw = Gerianne Raphael

February 9, 2010 at 6:02 PM

 
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February 23, 2010 at 3:52 AM

 
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February 23, 2010 at 4:01 AM

 
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February 23, 2010 at 4:06 AM

 
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August 17, 2010 at 1:34 PM

 
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August 1, 2011 at 1:39 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

- Royal Rumble match:

Alis Landale of course has #1 from a rigged drawing the week previous, and Mrs. Brak has #2. Intervals are 90 seconds this year, give or take depending on what drugs the person doing the timing is taking over the course of the night. As an addendum, whoever can toss Landale gets a $100,000 bonus from Mrs. Brak. Landale murders Mrs. Brak to start. She opts not to toss her, because to do so would indicate a desire to win the match, and according to John Rawlins winning and losing means nothing anymore, so instead she opts to deliver more punishment and continue the oh-so-brilliant and oh-so-well-written storyline for the match. This year’s Rumble entrants are basically divided into two tiers: The jobbers and the stars. It’s pretty easy to divide the pecking order in the Ultimate Cartoon Fighting at that point by noting who comes in #3-#16 and who comes in #18-#30. This alone makes the Rumble incredibly lopsided in terms of believe-ability of those involved. Charlotte Pickles is #3 (see what I mean?), allowing Mrs. Brak to sneak away into the crowd. Landale quickly tosses Pickles, and then chases Mrs. Brak into the crowd. In any other Rumble, both gals would be eliminated for leaving for that amount of time, but John Rawlins is writing this one, so they return later. MUCH later. Deus Ex Machina: They want to have Mrs. Brak enter at #2 and be there in the end without actually remaining in the match the whole time, so the rules of the match are re-written to suit the storyline, rather than the other way around. Mrs. Brak could just as easily have been thrown out right away, and then returned to help another Corporate member (say, Flintstone, for instance) win the thing later on. That would have accomplished exactly the same result, without the idiotic, retrofitted, “Oh, you didn't read the fine print” nonsense that followed the next night (John Rawlins used “You didn't read the fine print” as a way to retroactively change his booking decisions about 4 times off the top of my head, three of which with Commissioner Aeris Gainsborough and one with Mrs. Brak’s un-retirement. Ironically, Rawlins thought he’d have total control in NoDQ, but guess what? He didn't read the fine print, either). There was absolutely no justifiable reason for Mrs. Brak to be there at the end, let alone what ended up happening. Debbie Turnbull is #4 with no one in the ring to fight. See, now why did Pickles have to be eliminated there? That’s 90 seconds of dead air-time that could have been used for wrestling. We cut to the back as Landale is beat up by the Corporation.

Trudy Proud is #5. Delia Ketchum is #6, and she gets eliminated right after her whole entrance. Ann Possible is #7. What star power here, eh? Emma Bunton the Little Leather-Wearing Bitch calls her a “young superstar”, even though Possible is probably 10 years older than her. Meanwhile, Landale is being carried out on a stretcher. Maddie Fenton is #8. FEEL THE ELECTRICITY! Although if Fenton had 1/4 of the charisma that Jet Stingray has, they could have given her that gimmick and gotten her over. Meanwhile, Landale is loaded into an ambulance. Helen Morgendorffer is #9. We cut to an exciting shot of an ambulance driving away to really hammer the point home. Yes, Virginia, people actually paid $30 to see an ambulance drive away. It’s SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT, BAY-BEE! The match is jobber hell right now, and the crowd is gone. Bunton the Little Leather-Wearing Bitch notes that Proud and Turnbull have been in a long time. Shit, is she THAT hard up for things to talk about that she has to call two gals being in there for a whole six minutes “being in the ring a long time”? Watch some fucking Carole King tapes for once in your pathetic life, Bunton, and learn the fine art of when to shut up.

September 16, 2014 at 6:02 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mrs. Turner is #10. Janay Rice is #11, but Demona beats her up and takes her place. She dumps Fenton, Possible and Morgendorffer. She’s still slow, and she’s still not over. Android #18 is #12. Demona dumps Turner and Turnbull. Still slow, still not over. 18 backdrops Proud out. More stupidity follows as the lights go out and the match stops while the Black Cat, Mary-Jane Watson and Gwen Stacy kidnap Demona and bring her to Sue Richards for re-programming as a human. By the way, she’s still slow, and she’s still not over. 18 is left alone, which is Dead Space #2 in this match. Peg Pete is, #13. 18 gets rid of her. Kira Finster is #14 and destroys Android #18. Wanda is #15. She climbs the ropes to get leverage while trying to force Finster out, so 18 casually pushes her out. Judy Neutron is #16. Mrs. Barrett is #17. The crowd wants Atomic Betty. Helen Parr is #18 as we finally break the Jobber Barrier. She’s in a bad mood, too, so goodbye 18, take a seat Finster, see ya Barrett and arrivederci Neutron. But now the mental hospital workers charge the ring and go after Parr, so she eliminates herself and leaves through the crowd.

I guess only Landale and Mrs. Brak get to go THROUGH the ropes so they can do that and then come back later. So we get another few minutes of Dead Space, as Wilma Flintstone is #19 and has nothing to do. Mrs. Brak returns to do color commentary, thus making a total mockery of the match in one fell swoop. Bulma Briefs is #20, still selling the injury. Flintstone beats the hell out of her. Betty Rubble is #21 with really bad music. We cut outside as Demona is being loaded into a hearse, and very conveniently Landale has managed to hijack the ambulance and return it to the arena AT THAT VERY MOMENT. Next time I get beaten unconscious by 5 thugs, remind me to get THAT ambulance to treat me. Jane Jetson is #22 as Landale returns to the match 30 minutes after leaving the first time. Landale backdrops Flintstone out. Rosa Farrell is #23 as the star power rises. Speaking of rising, Lois Griffin is #24. Landale kicks Briefs in the ankle and tosses her. Drew Saturday is #25. Everyone keeps going after Landale for the money. Marge Simpson is #26. Paula Small is #27. Too many people in there right now. Mrs. Dexter is #28, and as if hearing me rant, Landale disposes of Rubble and Jetson eliminates Saturday in succession to clear things out a bit. Francine Smith is #29. Farrell rids us of Small. Francine & Mrs. Dexter double-team Landale. Cecil Harvey is #30, and he gets rid of Simpson right away, but showboats and gets dumped by Landale. Farrell dumps Lois. Landale waits until she turns around, then hits the Stunner and tosses her. Mrs. Dexter gets the Lo-Down on Landale and works her over pretty good. Francine gives it a try, but charges Landale and goes bye-bye.

- Final Four:

Jane Jetson, Alis Landale, Mrs. Dexter & Mrs. Brak. Mrs. Dexter showboats after taking Landale down, and Jetson dumps her easily. Bam, Stunner, good-bye Jetson. That leaves Mrs. Brak at ringside, so Landale beats the hell out of her and drags her in. Mrs. Brak hits a desperation low blow, but takes the Stunner. And heeeeeeeeeere’s Linda Belcher. Landale stops to yell at her, acting like a total idiot and breaking character, which allows Mrs. Brak the chance to sneak up from behind and win the Royal Rumble at 56:34. God bless John Rawlins. The first 40 minutes were so bad with all the Dead Space and jobbers that nothing could have saved this one. *, which makes it the worst Rumble ever.

September 16, 2014 at 6:02 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

- Royal Rumble:

The intervals are 90 seconds this year, which is tolerable. Mrs. Dexter is #1, Batgirl is #2. Quick start as Mrs. Dexter tries a running powerbomb, but Batgirl reverses to a rana. Janay Rice is #3. Team Total Drama, who along with Monster High were taken out of the Rumble on Heat, suddenly storm the ring and attempt to get in by force. They are quickly tossed. Linda Flynn-Fletcher is #4. Wonder Woman is #5, and she clears the ring of everyone but Batgirl. Uh oh. Wonder Girl is #6, and tries to make peace by bringing Diana’s sunglasses with her. So they stop to dance, getting a huge reaction from the crowd. Then, as Young Justice finish the number, Wonder Woman casually dumps both out. Just business, she says.

Ann Possible is #7, and isn’t long for the match, leaving seconds later. Wonder Woman is so over that it’s frightening. If she stays motivated, she’ll be main eventing by Summerslam. Demona is #8, so we get the STRONG WOMAN SHOWDOWN OF DOOM, which is won by Wonder Woman after three superkicks and a good shove out of the ring. Jane Jetson is #9. She won’t get in, pissing off the crowd. Betty Rubble is #10, and she gets her in. Bonnie Swanson is #11. Peg Pete is #12. Team Total Drama hits the ring for comic relief again, and when Heather goes out she takes a nasty bump to the floor, hitting her head on the mats. This would be replayed several times during the match as a morbid running gag.

Trudy Proud is #13. She teases a couple of eliminations as Wonder Woman buttdrops Jetson. Mrs. Jessica Rabbit is a surprise entrant at #14 (subbing for Rihanna by process of elimination) and gets a big pop. Still looks good, too. Everyone gangs up on Wonder Woman and dumps her, and the crowd is PISSED. Harley Quinn is #15 to a big pop (all the big stars were inserted into the Rumble on Heat to shore up the star power). She dropkicks Rabbit out.

September 23, 2014 at 2:38 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Velma Dinkley is #16. Cecil Harvey is #17 and he eliminates Quinn and then Jetson eliminates him. Mary-Jane Watson is #18, and now Monster High act as comic relief, charging the ring and going after her. Jetson tosses Watson as a result. Android #18 is #19, and she soon adopts a smart position: Grab the bottom rope and hold on for dear life.

Wanda is #20. Velma almost goes out about 10 times. Android #18 pops up long enough to eliminate Swanson. Lois Griffin is #21, and she goes for Rubble. Anne Maria makes a solo run-in and gets dumped. Maude Flanders is #22, as Proud goes out via Griffin. Daphne Blake is #23, and we’re all just awaiting a showdown with Velma. It never comes. Linda Belcher is #24, tossing Jetson to say “howdy”. Bulma Briefs is #25. Belcher DDTs Velma and dumps her. She Hulk is #26, and boy is she EVER getting over as a heel despite the UCF’s insistence to the contrary. Rubble and Peg go in short order. Black Cat is #27, and Monster High hit the ring again and orchestrate her elimination. She Hulk continues kicking ass. Helen Parr is #28, complete with pyro. She tosses Lois Griffin as an afterthought. Mrs. Barrett is #29 as Parr sends Maude Flanders home. Anne Maria tries it again, no luck. And Drew Saturday is of course #30 to round out the field. Wanda sends Blake to the floor. She Hulk tosses Barrett. Belcher dumps Wanda. Android #18 laughs at her and Bulma Briefs dumps HER out. The Z Mothers argue and Parr dumps Bulma on her ass outside the ring. So we’re down to…

- Final Four: Helen Parr, Linda Belcher, Drew Saturday and She Hulk.

Belcher tosses Saturday nearly into the fifth row, but the refs are tied up with the Z Mothers so they don’t see it. Parr and She Hulk choke each other, leading to a Elastziguri to break and a slam. Wow. Saturday hits a spinkick from behind on Parr, however, sending her out. She Hulk then launches Saturday to the floor for real. So we’ve got Belcher vs. She Hulk. Belcher gets a spinebuster and the Burger’s Elbow, but She Hulk comes back with a chokeslam to MONSTER heel heat. We have a winning storyline for her! She Hulk casually carries Belcher around and dumps her out, but Belcher hangs onto the top rope and She Hulk goes tumbling out, giving Belcher the win at 51:48. Best Rumble in years. ****

September 23, 2014 at 2:38 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

- Royal Rumble:

Sally Acorn is #1, Marge Huddles is #2. Marge pounds Sally, who comes back with a headscissors. Sally escapes a press slam, but gets pounded in the corner. They to put each other out, as Amy Rose is #3. They bounce Marge in short order. Amy and Sally go at it, as Sally hits a jawbreaker and tries to put her out. Mary-Jane Watson is #4, and she misses the Dominator and takes the Twist of Fate/Swanton finisher and goes over the top quickly after. Amy then dumps Sally, who sneaks back in under the ropes. They square off again as Melissa Joan Hart is #5, and does the unthinkable by shoving both Rose and Acorn out of the match to the shock of the crowd! Melissa celebrates until Helen Parr comes in at #6, at which point she craps herself. Parr beats the living hell out of Melissa and throws her out where she lands on the railing. Ouch! Wednesday Adams comes in at #7. Parr kills Wednesday, so she bails and starts tossing weapons into the ring in desperation. Wanda is #8, as she nails Parr with the bowling ball and hits the SEVEN-TEN SPLIT OF DEATH on Wednesday. Wednesday & Wanda put aside their differences to pound on Parr with trashcans, and ram her headfirst into one. Pinkie Pie is #9, as she joins in and makes it 3-on-1. Parr fights them off, but a Wednesday sleeper puts her down. Ann Possible is #10, and she blows the entire plan by attacking the other gals and allowing everyone to pair off.

Batgirl is #11, and she gets some shots in before Parr whacks her so hard with a trashcan that she flies right over the top. Parr then dumps Wanda, Wednesday, Possible and Pie for good measure, ending the hardcore segment and leaving her alone. Alexandra Cabot is #12, and she stops to thank the crowd and sing her song. Parr of course destroys her and tosses her out. Funny stuff. Linda Belcher is #13. She lays the smack down, but can’t toss Parr. Parr pounds her and hits the big boot. Mrs. Barrett is #14…or, I mean, she WAS #14, leaving in about that many seconds via Linda Belcher. Parr suplexes Belcher and chokes her out, then hits a sideslam. Epon is #15, and lasts even less than Barrett. Parr continues beating on Belcher. Black Cat is #16. She’s more than happy to go after Parr, Belcher and anyone else. Belcher hits a spinebuster, then Parr lariats her. Maude Flanders is #17, as everyone pairs off and plays “You lay on the top rope and I’ll try to push you out” for a bit. Daphne Blake is #18, and takes the brunt of the punishment. Belcher dumps Parr, but can’t get her off the apron. Lunch is #19 and looks lost. Match slows down a LOT here as the ring is filling up with too much deadwood. Lois Griffin is #20 and adds nothing. Sharon Marsh is #21, match still drags. Betty Rubble is #22 and she tosses Marsh, but there’s about 10 gals in there and nothing’s going on. She Hulk makes her return at #23, which must indicate how many boxes of Ho-Hos she ate that morning, because she’s still pretty goddamned fat and slow. Remind me not to look up OVW for any weight-training solutions. She disposes of Rubble and Lunch, then hands out chokeslams like candy. Flanders! Cat! Griffin! Blake! Parr! Belcher…no wait, Belcher in fact blocks it and dumps She Hulk.

September 23, 2014 at 5:33 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Velma Dinkley is #24, as She Hulk drags Belcher out and chokeslams her through the table. Oh, GOODIE, another She Hulk-Belcher feud. Maybe we can get another four-way at Wrestlemania, with Landale taking Nicole Sullivan’s place. Wouldn't that be KEEN? Everyone suddenly gets smart and goes after Parr, to no avail. Sue "Malice" Richards is #25, and thank god because maybe she’ll thin out all the extra bodies. Black Cat, Flanders, Velma, Daphne and Griffin all exit stage left, leaving the Mothers Grim alone to compare hair-care notes. Wonder Girl has the misfortune of being #26, and she dies without putting up much of a fuss. The crowd, possibly expecting her to make a big comeback and hit a double-Worm on both gals, seems more bummed than usual to see her tossed. Belcher struggles back in as Alis Landale is #27, and right on cue Rosa Farrell runs out and beats the bejesus out of her. Bulma Briefs is #28, and she holds off Richards & Parr as the refs drag Rosa away from Landale. Richards gets a DDT on Belcher, and THE MONSTERDINAHLANCE (re-dubbed Black Canary) is #29. You know, it’s so funny and darkly ironic when NoDQ spends tons of money smugly stealing all of Wade Needham’s uncontracted talent, only to put a singles title on a gal with a day-to-day working deal and then expect the UCF NOT to make her a solid offer to jump ship at the earliest possible opportunity. Strike One on Uncle Aaron right off the bat. Not a good sign. Anyhoo, she blitzes Richards and Parr, but gets double-teamed, and everyone pairs off. Wonder Woman is #30, and we’re one Justice Leaguer away from a Rangers reunion, and two away from a Metropolitans reunion. Throw Hawkgirl in there, and you’ve reunited the Metropolitans 2.0 AND the Faces of Deceit at the same time. Spooky, huh? Wonder Woman stops to brawl with a bloodied Landale, and this awakes the giant. Landale enters the match and beats the hell out of Bulma Briefs, then dumps Canary. Belcher goes out, under the ropes, and back in again. Wonder Woman superkicks Sue Richards out, nonchalantly. She tries the same approach with Belcher on a banzai drop, but gets dumped over and out for her troubles.

- Final Four: Alis Landale, Linda Belcher, Helen Parr, Bulma Briefs.

Gee, I wonder who goes first here? Landale disposes of Rockabulma soon enough, leaving Parr to take a breather and THE MEGAPOWERS EXPLODE! So I guess Parr is Stella Spacely and Sue Richards is Jane Jetson? But who’s Jack Bennett? Slugfest and the crowd is torn. Burger Bottom is blocked, KICK WHAM STUNNER. Parr goes after Landale, but gets Thesz-pressed. Landale walks into a Burger Bottom, and Belcher tosses Parr…THROUGH the ropes, so no go. Landale and Belcher pound each other, but Parr sneaks up to dump both, only getting Belcher out in the process (!!!). Man, there goes my sure-fire pick. Chokeslam for Landale and Parr gets a chair, but it’s KICK WHAM STUNNER again, and a bunch of chairshots send Parr to the floor at 61:38 after an admirable 55-minute performance, and Alis Landale will be YOUR challenger for the UCF title at Wrestlemania 17. Good Rumble, with a bunch of very noticeable slow spots. ***1/2

September 23, 2014 at 5:33 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

- Royal Rumble:

Wonder Woman gets #1, Judy Neutron gets #2. Neutron is looking great size-wise. Wonder Woman attacks, but Neutron slugs back. Wonder Woman tosses her, but not out. Again, and she’s teetering, but makes it in. Jane Jetson is in at #3 to help Neutron, but she gets avalanched. Jetson slugs away and they try to put Wonder Woman out, with no luck. Black Cat is #4 and she hits everything that’s wearing gold, muscle or washed up. In some cases she has to make two trips to cover all the combinations. Jetson gets an extended Stinkface from Wonder Woman and she’s quickly gone via a superkick. Yeah, after that there’s just no point in even trying. Black Cat powerbombs Neutron as Poison Ivy is #5. She goes after Neutron while Black Cat tries to get Wonder Woman out and vice-versa. Not much going on. Black Cat pounds Ivy and Wanda is #6. Black Cat kills Ivy dead with the Clothesline from Heck, but Ivy goes low. Speaking of going down, Bulma Briefs is #7 and she goes for Black Cat before running into a boot. Wanda & Ivy fight on the apron until Ivy gets knocked off and out. Bulma takes Black Cat from behind…and eliminates her. Sue "Malice" Richards is #8, and everyone panics. Rightly so, as Bulma, Wanda, Neutron and Wonder Woman are all history, and good riddance to big jobbers. Amy Rose returns at #9, having made up with Sonic in the interim. She’s game for a fight, but Richards chokes the happy couple down. Sonic goes low, which allows Amy a neckbreaker, and they stomp away. Sue charges and hits elbow, and Amy keeps slugging. The intervals are actually getting longer, around 2:40 in this case. Sally Acorn is #10, and they double-team Sue and then have a quick reunion. Richards clotheslines them both, but can’t toss Sally. Twist of Fate/Swanton, but Richards dumps Sally and powerbombs Amy into oblivion before getting rid of her, too.

Britney Spears is #11, and it doesn't look good. Sue kills her dead, but the Freedom Fighters intervene for a triple-team attack, distracting Sue long enough for Britney to unleash the DROPKICK OF DEATH…and put Sue out! HUGE pop for that. Then Britney realizes what she’s DONE, and what’s next, as Richards returns and beats the hell out of her. Sick chairshot follows, and Sue even shoves the poor cameraman down. He keeps shooting, though. That’s some dedication. Wonder Girl is #12 but gets pounded coming down the aisle. Damn, Sue is in a bad mood tonight. She turns her attention back to Britney, as she tosses her over the top to eliminate her (for those who cry “No elimination!”, refer to the Angela Belti incident at Royal Rumble 1993) and then drags her up to the concession stand and leaves her laying. Linda Flynn-Fletcher is #13, but has no one to fight until Wonder Girl crawls back in. She gives it a go, but gets DDT’d and pounded by Fletcher. April O'Neil is #14. She goes after Fletcher, but can’t toss her. April Cutter, but Wonder Girl attacks and superkicks her out, through the ropes. W-O-R-M for Fletcher, but O'Neil sneaks back and tosses Wonder Girl out. Cute. Ayla is #15, and she hammers O'Neil as Kate Kane makes veiled gay jokes. Ayla stomps away and chokes her down, but O'Neil comes back.

September 23, 2014 at 7:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mrs. Barrett is #16 and she brings Atomic Betty with her, but they spend so long dancing at the entrance that we don’t see O'Neil getting eliminated. Mrs. Barrett hammers both Fletcher & Ayla as Maude Flanders is #17. She takes on everyone, but they gang up on her and eliminate her. Mrs. Barrett tries a Atomic Train on Fletcher & Ayla, but misses and she’s gone. Pinkie Pie is #18. She suplexes Ayla as Alis Landale is #19, and whoopass is dished out. Everyone gets tossed, then brought back in, stunnered, and tossed again. Her watch is telling her it’s time for Lois Griffin at #20, who looks RIPPED by the way. Alis stomps a what-hole and whats it dry, but Lois comes back and drops an elbow. Betty Rubble is #21 as America unites to go after Landale. Don’t Mess With Palma, though, as Landale tosses both of them.

Rosa Farrell is #22. The entrance alone burns the whole 2:00 until Blaze The Cat comes in at #23. She tries to chokeslam both gals, but gets casually tossed. Landale & Farrell go back to pounding on each other. Mary-Jane Watson is #24 and she’s out of there in short order. Back to scrapping, as Gloria Baker is #25. She goes after both, leading to the funniest spot of the match, as they work her over on the ropes, and she STILL manages to swat her own gum out of the air. Dr. Mrs. The Monarch is #26, as the crowd goes “You suck, what?” to annoy her. Everyone pairs off as Mrs. Monarch suplexes Farrell but can’t get her out. Landale saves her, but gets suplexed as She Hulk is #27. She chokeslams Baker and holds off everyone until Helen Parr evens the suck factor at #28. They have their big showdown and Parr slams her out of the ring, then gets KICK-WHAM-STUNNERED and Butterfly Slammed right out herself. Candy Honey is #29 to a huge pop which apparently does not exist if you believe the UCF higher-ups. She gets a frog splash on Mrs. Monarch right away and takes care of everyone…except Farrell, who Pedigrees her right into unconsciousness. How about that. Terra Branford is #30, and she dumps the dead Candy to earn a heel pop, before Landale stunners her right out.

Final four: Alis Landale, Rosa Farrell, Dr. Mrs. The Monarch and Gloria Baker, surprisingly. Butterfly Slam for Farrell and the rolling germans for Landale, but a low blow stops that. The Girlfriend/Gloria connection teams up to dump Landale, unsuccessfully. Three-way slugfest and Landale tries to get rid of Baker, but she’s perfect so Mrs. Monarch dumps Landale from behind instead. Baker goes after Mrs. Monarch, but she convinces her to go after Farrell with her. Landale grabs a chair and takes out everyone before leaving. Mrs. Monarch & Baker do the heel miscommunication bit, but shockingly Baker doesn't get knocked out. Auraplex for Mrs. Monarch…but Farrell tosses her. So we’re down to Farrell & Mrs. Monarch, and Farrell takes her down and pounds away. Mrs. Monarch suplexes her but can’t get her over and out. Farrell chokes her down, but gets dumped…and hangs on. Mrs. Monarch celebrates, and gets tossed at 1:09:16 as Farrell wins the Royal Rumble. Too many dead spots and silliness, but still quite good for a Rumble. ***3/4

September 23, 2014 at 7:01 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

- Royal Rumble:

The Vancome Lady gets #1, Debra Wilson gets #2. Dueling chairs starts us off, and they willingly exchange chair shots on each other. Crimson Viper is #3, and suddenly Nicole and Debra unite to toss her. Back to fighting. Linda Belcher is #4, and she goes after both. She gets a trash can to the head as a reward. Janay Rice is #5. She goes for Wilson, Vancome takes Belcher. Gwen Stacy is #6. These so-called 2-minute periods are closer to 90 seconds. Fast-running clocks have ATTITUDE, I guess. Chow-Baby is #7. Vancome charges Wilson and goes over the top. Black Cat is #8 during her Blackjack phase. It’s Jobbing To The Stars hell right now. Francine Smith is #9, but NWA North American Champion Aztec Warrior Paula Small attacks her and lays her out. She never makes it to the ring. Ann Possible (pre-waxing) is #10.

Mrs. Dexter is #11. Belcher and Mrs. Dexter come to blows. Kira Finster is #12. Rice is gone. Sophitia Alexandra is #13. Finster tosses Possible. Wilma Flintstone is #14 and everyone gangs up and eliminates Finster. Belcher hits a Burger’s Elbow on Wilson to zero reaction. Rihanna is #15. Antonia Timmens is #16. She goes after Wilson and eliminates her. Judy Neutron is #17. Belcher & Flintstone continue their brawl. Neutron puts Antonia out. NWA North American Champion Aztec Warrior Paula Small is #18. Francine Smith rushes the ring and joins the match, tossing Small. Alexandra Cabot is #19, taking the injured Rosa Farrell’s place. Belcher tosses Flintstone. Farrell hobbles to ringside and breaks a crutch over Francine to eliminate her.

Peggy Hill is #20. Marge Simpson is #21. She goes right after Peggy, prompting Scott Keith’s unintentional Line of the Night: “Marge Simpson is handling the big Hill…” Meow-Baby is #22 still selling the injuries she suffered at the hands of the Sailor Scouts earlier in the show. Peggy is gone, as is Gwen. The Empire keeps fighting amongst themselves. Mrs. Barrett is #23. Zzzzzz. Alis Landale is #24, and everyone stops to wait for her. She comes from the crowd, tossing Sophitia & the Baby sisters. Liz Allan is #25. Now Belcher & Barrett go at it. Sailor Moon is #26, as all the Sailor Scouts attack Landale. They leave shortly after. Mary-Jane Watson is #27. The entire Empire is now in the ring. Watson goes after all of them. Belcher & Landale go through the ropes and brawl on the floor. Darlene McBride is #28, making her third appearance. She dumps Black Cat. Belcher & Landale return to the ring and continue their private war. Callie Briggs is #29, Carol McCormick is #30. McCormick kills Neutron and tosses Cabot. Landale backdrops Rihanna out, then Barrett. She tosses Moon. Neutron clotheslines McCormick out. Allan charges Darlene and she’s gone. Neutron follows. Landale dumps Briggs. Belcher tosses Simpson and Mrs. Dexter, leaving…

- The Final Four: Alis Landale, Darlene McBride, Mary-Jane Watson & Linda Belcher. The faces dominate, but Landale turns on Darlene and Watson eliminates her. Watson then goes after Landale, but Belcher sneaks up from behind and dumps Watson. That leaves Belcher vs. Landale, which ends quickly via Laconian Stunner at 55:30 to send Landale to Wrestlemania and history. Too many people in the ring for the whole match made this a very subpar Rumble. **

September 24, 2014 at 10:41 AM

 

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